Bromantic Zomedy

*Please excuse the annoying intro--its the only version I could get embedded

When I first started seeing trailers for Zombieland over the summer, I wasn't that thrilled. I was interested, but that was the extent of it. I like Jesse Eisenberg and I thought it was funny that he did two films back to back with "land" in the title. (see: Adventureland) What's he going to do next, "Geekland?" I also like Emma Stone a lot. She was rated my #1 favorite actress of 2008, despite the fact that she did two horrible movies, The House Bunny and The Rocker. Yes, I saw both of them, and only because she was in them. I take a lot of flack for liking her too, because according to my friends, she looks like the female version of Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts.

*Granted, these are not the two best pictures of them, I can still kind of see the resemblance.

The trailer for Zombieland confused me: Is it a zombie movie, or a comedy about about Zombies? Is it seriously a rip-off of Shaun of the Dead? Is this a genre now, the zom-com? And hasn't this zombie craze gone far enough? They're really just beatin' a dead corpse by now.

Now available on Amazombie.com:

Zombieland was released on one of the biggest nights for film in recent memory, October 2. At least 4 major titles came out that same Friday: Zombieland, Whip It, The Invention of Lying, and Capitalism: A Love Story. I'm a huge Michael Moore fan, so I went to see the midnight showing for Capitalism at the AMC River East by Navy Pier. There were some people dressed up as Zombies, but mostly everyone was there to see Paranormal Activity. I ended up switching my tickets and joining the masses. 4 new films and I went to see some indie flick I'd never heard of. One of the best decisions I've made in a long time. (You can read my review of Paranormal Activity in an earlier post)

On my list of must-see movies, Zombieland fell behind Capitalism and Whip It, because I'd just rather see something more original. But sure enough, the next Saturday at work everyone was raving about Zombieland. "You have to see it, its hilarious! There's an awesome cameo!" So the following Saturday I did just that, and here's what I thought:

I enjoyed it. It was a fun movie. The actors and the music were very entertaining. The story was really cool, and I especially liked that the characters are named after their hometowns. Overall though, it was much closer to a romantic comedy than any zombie movie I've seen. There just weren't that many zombies. There are some memorable, funny scenes with zombies, but they are far from the main focus of the film. They're more like a part of the setting; a prop in the background.

The film's really about this awkward college kid facing his fears (clowns and pretty girls) and becoming a man. And I've heard that the role was written for Michael Cera but he turned it down because he'd be co-starring with his best friend's superbad girlfriend, and that would just be wrong. Ok, I lied. I don't know if any of that is true, but I have heard Jesse Eisenberg referred to as the poor man's Michael Cera, or Michael Cera #2.

Maybe its just because I saw it alone, but it definitely did not live up to the hype for me. The same can be said for The Hangover--it was hyped as the funniest movie of the year. I did go with friends to that one, inebriated friends, and it still wasn't that funny. The funniest movie I've seen this year will be my next review...

Monster Madness: The Best Monster Miniseries on the Web

On this Tuesday, I declare October the 13th as Cinemassacre Day!

Many know him as The Angry Video Game Nerd, but James Rolfe is as good a movie critic as he is for video games, if not better. He has a great wealth of knowledge pertaining to film, specifically the horror genre, and he showcases it beautifully in his annual miniseries, Monster Madness.

I began watching when it first aired back in 2007, and ever since then I've been hooked. It is quickly becoming one of my favorite holiday traditions. There's nothing like curling up in front of my lap top with all the lights off and a bowl of popcorn, eager to discover and rediscover classic horror films. Its the perfect escape into the Halloween spirit!

Check out all his videos on his website: Cinemassacre.com

or watch Monster Madness in chronological order on YouTube

What I'm listening too...

The trailer for Zombieland featuring "Everybody Wants Some!!" has reignited my shameless lust for Van Halen. And with the weather being so drab and dreary lately, I've been in the mood for Joy Division. Only I don't have Joy Division in my car, so New Order it is.

Cheers me up every time.

Just listen to "Temptation." I dare ya not to dance.

Other albums I've been listening to:

Something I should let you know about myself is that my true passion is making mix tapes. If there's one thing I do very well and would love to make a living at, that is it. I've made 15 mixes already this year, just between January and August. Not until school started up again in September have I been able to control my obsession. Now-a-days I mostly make personalized, custom mixes for friends and family. I take artists I know they like, and compile them with similar artists and sounds I think they would enjoy (kind of like what Apple's iTunes Genius does now). What I used to do in high school though was simply make a mix for myself, and then make copies of it for my friends, so it was kind of like an actual album release. Everyone would get the cd on the same day, and then for the next couple weeks we would play the mix together and discuss our favorite parts. Then around '05 I stopped doing it for some reason. I only made mixes for my girlfriend, and its pretty much been that way since.

Then in February I made a mix called 23, to celebrate my 23rd birthday. Where people would normally give me gifts for getting older, I gave all my friends a copy of the CD. It was built with each one of the recipients in mind, but never straying too far from my own personal vision. It was about not just my favorite songs at the time, but songs that defined who I was, before, during and after I turned 23.

1. Intro

2. Candy - Skip Kanosky

3. Sketches (20-Something Life) - La Rocca

4. Little Lover's So Polite - Silversun Pickups

5. PDA - Interpol

6. Manhattan - Kings of Leon

7. Spark - Ten-Speed

8. Jolene (live) - Ray LaMontagne

9. The Ghost In You (cover) - Counting Crows

10. Ceremony - New Order

11. Eyes Without A Face - Billy Idol

12. I'll Try Anything Once - The Strokes

13. I Don't Need Love, I've Got My Band - The Radio Dept.

14. The Box - Eastern Conference Champions

15. Idioteque - Radiohead

16. Jesus - Brand New

17. Where Have You Been? - Manchester Orchestra

18. 23 - Jimmy Eat World

Bonus: Unsatisfied - The Replacements

*(bonus only because it wouldn't fit onto the CD, therefore is only available in the mp3 playlist)

The title was not a result of my birthday however, but a favorite song of mine by Jimmy Eat World. Its a favorite amongst my entire circle of friends and was a perfect song to build the mix around. I only rediscovered this playlist recently while sifting through my iPod for something to listen to on the train, and it got me thinking...

I need more JEW in my life.

Somehow I always seem to forget how good they are, and then I rediscover them several months later and I get to experience the epiphany all over again. I've spent a lot of time lately listening to stuff for quick thrills. Its nice to get back to something with substance and some balls.

One of my favorite albums to listen to this time of year is Futures

by Jimmy Eat World. It just feels like fall to me. One of my favorite songs, "Kill," is featured on the third installment of a trilogy I made in high school called October Nights. Altogether there is October Nights (2002), October Nights '03, and October Nights '04. They sort of mark the end my days producing blockbuster mixes to pass out around school. Only 5 years later, they feel very nostalgic and dated, but nevertheless, the song choice, placement and overall pacing of the mix sound as good as ever. And if you look closely you'll notice the last song on October Nights '04 is "A Lack of Color" by Death Cab For Cutie. It seems to mark the point at which I transitioned from hardcore, punk and emo into straight indie rock.

See what else I'm into @ Last.FM

Je-nny, I got your number!

Last Sunday night I worked until 8:30, and because that's early for me, I was determined to get over to the mall and see Zombieland before the school week started up again.

To no avail.

No one would go with me. And because I'd really like to see the movie with a friend or two and preferably a decent-sized crowd (just a personal thing), I passed. And settled instead for another movie I had been waiting a long time to see and could get no one to join me to:

I was excited for this film because it was written by the Academy Award Winning Diablo Cody of Juno fame, whom as you know is from this area (Chicago/Kankakee). And also of course for the most obvious reason...

MEGAN FOX IS A DEMON!

I was smart to go in with low expectations. The film begins as any other teen slasher flick nowadays, taking its cues straight from Halloween and A Nightmare On Elm Street by setting up a slow and creepy tone. Then it takes an unexpected turn by showing our protagonist, Amanda Seyried (Mama Mia, Mean Girls), sitting in a mental institution. The opening line says "Hell is a teenage girl." Really, who knew? You don't have to be a teenager to figure out that the entire story is a metaphor for the woes of teen angst.

Let's take a second to sum it up:

Girl enters high school with best friend. Best friend gets noticed by boys. Best friend sleeps with boys. Girl gets jealous; Best friend gets full of herself (and others). They hate each other forever. The end.

So the girl and the best friend (Amanda and Megan, or should I say, Needy and Jennifer) start out by going to a rock concert. Jennifer likes the lead singer, played by a very charming, yet unconvincing Adam Brody (another reason I wanted to see this movie--Seth Cohen rules!). After the bar they play at mysteriously burns down (which is never really explained), the band convinces Jenny to join them in their van. And I'm sure you know where this is going...WRONG! Here comes the plot twist, are you ready for it?!

In order to become famous, the band wants to sell their souls to Satan, by offering him a virgin sacrifice.

Seriously.

Adam Brody. With a knife. In the woods.

Anyways, Needy (wtf is this, an allegory? she wishes) tells the band Jennifer's a virgin and they actually believe her! Yeah right, she's not even a back door virgin. So when they kill her, because she is so far from a virgin its incomprehensible, her body is possessed by a demon. And of course they figure this out later by checking out ancient texts on demonology that their high school library just happened to have laying around.

The whole rest of the movie has to do with Jennifer going around seducing boys so that she can eat them, literally, and regenerate her human host. I have to admit, this makes for some of the best scenes in the film. I personally think Amanda Seyfried is the lamest of lame, and Megan Fox's performance just exacerbates that claim. Fox is so electrifying in this role, you might actually have to start considering her a real actress, kind of like say...Angelina Jolie?

Seriously though, Megan Fox is awesome as a life-sucking half-dead slut. When Jennifer gets done eating a boy, she's full of life and color and vitality (so the exact same as in Transformers). But after she's gone a while without feeding, her host's body begins to deteriorate, and thats the best part. In those periods, Fox is pale and weak, with greasy jet black hair and dark circles around her eyes. Its a surprisingly sexy look for her. I mean, we all know she has those eyes that can burn a hole right through your skull, but when she turns goth, she looks pure evil. I'm not out to commit heresy or anything, but she makes for the best villain I've seen since Ledger's Joker. And I wouldn't be surprised if she took her inspiration from his role. I mean, she looks down-right demented. And I love it. The first time you see her after the incident, she's covered in blood with a grin that comes from depths of hell, and then pukes this this black oil all over the kitchen floor, laughing hysterically all along. Its f***in' creepy.

Another aspect of the movie that's slightly noteworthy is the music. I was surprised not only by the sheer amount of music or the diversity of it, but the actual song selections themselves. Classic 80's songs and the newest batch of emo crap might be expected in films of this caliber, but there were also some standout, heady choices made like "I'm Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend How To Dance With You" by Black Kids, "Little Lover's So Polite" by Silversun Pickups and and a cover of Hot Chip's "Ready for the Floor" by Lissy Trullie that plays during the end credits.

Other noteworthy nuggets from the film include (because I really don't expect you or anyone to see this, so I am not worried at all about spoilers):

• J.K. Simmons (also of Juno fame) in a rather comedic role as a teacher, with hair
• Adam Brody and his band of merry goth rockers singing "867-5309" before they cut into Jenny
• A completely random, totally unnecessary and incredibly hot makeout session between the two leading ladies

Now I know this all sounds tempting, but just fair warning: before you begin to read too far into this review and actually start wanting to go see this film--don't. Its not worth it. I may have mentioned the things I like about the movie, but you have to understand, I like a lot of things that are really bad. Its kind of my thing. And just to prove my point, you can read what other people had to say about it on IMDB.

Which reminds me...

Here are the actual box office numbers for this past weekend (close, but no where near):

1. Zombieland $24.7m
2. Cloudy w/ Meatballs $15.8m
3. Toy Story double feature $12.4m
4. Surrogates $7.2m
5. The Invention of Lying $7m
6. Whip It $4.65m
7. Fame $4.62m
8. Capitalism: A Love Story $4.4m
9. The Informant! $3.6m
10. Love Happens $2.7m

*15. Jennifer's Body $1.2m

Samsonite! I was way off!

Weekend Update

I took my mom to see

The Informant

at the Meadowview

before my 3:00 shift...

De-

press-

ing!

At the movies...

I went into to work early tonight to check out Whip It. Initially, I thought it wasn't that great. Drew Barrymore did a good job for her directorial debut, but nothing extraordinary. The writing was downright awful, and as a result, the acting suffered dearly. I only caught a big chunk of the middle, but from what I can tell, its not a very funny or dramatic film.

The most memorable moment was a scene (stolen from about 50 other teen rom-coms) where Ellen's character and her new boy toy break into an abandoned indoor swimming facility and proceed to get naked underwater. At first, my male instincts told me this was a good thing, that the only good girl is a naked one. But wait a minute, girl? Isn't Ellen Page a woman by now? Yes, but not in this movie. She plays a 17 yr old that looks all of 15. Now I'm sure for some creeps out there this might be life altering or something stupid, but honestly for me, it was really uncomfortable, like walking in on your grandmother changing. See thats my problem with it: the scene is done very well, very romantic (props Drew). But then they start ripping off clothes and it turns into this sexual encounter with the illegal kind. They don't get completely naked, but again, Ellen Page in her skivvies just feels wrong.

If your looking for funny, you should probably go see Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs (its seriously HILARIOUS!). But if you like the actresses as much as I do (Kristen Wiig for the win!) or if you're just looking for a cool indie flick with some really great music (including Kim Deal and The Strokes!) then definitely go for Whip It. Although considering all the other options out there + over-priced concessions, I would just suggest you see a matinee, use your student discount or wait for the video.

Anyways, we were really busy down at the old theater tonight. These last three weeks have been huge for us. First, we opened I Can Do Bad All By Myself on September 11, which due to the demographics of our area, has done extremely well. Then on the 18th, we got Cloudy with A Chance of Meatballs. With that playing in 3-D in two separate screens, Love Happens in its first week, Tyler Perry's movie only in its second week, and All About Steve old enough to accept passes and coupons, people came in droves! It was busier than I had seen it all summer. Then finally last weekend we began to see a slight drop in attendance as the only new movie was Surrogates. However Cloudy and I Can Do Bad were still pilin' 'em in.

Tonight was exciting. We opened the Toy Story 3-D double feature on the big screen, and moved Cloudy into the 2nd smallest theater in the building. It was packed. And as I mentioned, we also opened Whip It. I Can Do Bad and Love Happens were squished together on our smallest screen, but still did pretty well. 4 weeks in and Madea don't quit. Beliee dat.

Here's my early prediction for the weekend box office:

1. Toy Story 3-D Double Feature $20m

2. Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs $18m

3. Zombieland $17.5m

4. Capitalism: A Love Story $15m

5. Whip It $7m

6. The Informant! $5m

7. Surrogates $4m

8. I Can Do Bad All By Myself $3.5m

9. The Invention of Lying $3m

10. Fame $2.5m

11. A Serious Man $2m

If I'm wrong, then Zombieland will be #1. It was really hard to choose because I don't know which is going to reach more theaters. Toy Story should make more money A. Because its Disney/Pixar B. Because 3-D movies generally cost $2 extra for the special projector thats required to play them. And I'm not sold on Zombieland. The previews just really didn't do it for me. I don't think Woody and Jesse are big enough to beat Buzz and Woody.

We'll see...

Scariest. Movie. Ever?

Last night I stayed downtown with my girlfriend to go see a midnight showing of the new Michael Moore film, Capitalism: A Love Story. We got there about an hour early, thinking it might be busy. Not only was the theater completely empty, it was tiny and neglected, not even cleaned yet from whatever had been screened before it (well there ya go Michael, you're not the only one who doesn't like Capitalism). So we went to the lobby to discuss how much popcorn to get and we noticed not three, but four other movies playing this particular Friday morning: Whip It, Zombieland, and The Invention of Lying. Lines were wrapped around the theater, I thought for possibly Zombieland or Capitalism, but not at all. The fourth movie was playing in 3 screens, 2 of which were already sold out at 11pm. It was called Paranormal Activity. Ever heard of it? Neither had I. Just seeing the sheer volume of people who had come out in support of the film was all the convincing I needed to change my plans from over a month ago (sorry Mr. Moore) and swap the tickets.

We asked a couple in line what the film was about--what was all the hullabaloo?? "Its supposed to be the scariest movie in the last decade. Its about a couple who are haunted in a new house and set up a camera to capture the ghost." Awesome, I said, like a Blair Witch kind of thing? "Yeah, only way better."

Well, there's really no better way to describe this film. Its Poltergeist + The Ring - Hollywood + Blair Witch - shaky cameras. And what they do best in this movie is suck you in. Because it is shot like a home video, and you can even watch them play back the videos they recorded, you feel just like you are right there with them. I was skeptical at first about the location--a giant suburban San Diego home (probably foreclosed now)--but it couldn't have been better. By putting the film in an up to date setting (as opposed to the usual rickety old home, cavernous mansion or abandoned mental asylum) they completely invade your space. They know you're going to go home and sleep with the lights on. C'mon, how many folks would believe that their new home is haunted? I mean, how could it be, nothing's happened there yet. But that's the beauty of it: this movie puts a great twist on the haunting genre and pulls it off exceptionally. It was the most suspenseful, most terrifying experience I've ever had in theaters. In fact, the most terrifying film I have ever seen. Period.

People were still screaming during the credits, others sobbing, in pure shock, as if they had literally just seen a ghost. We were so shaken up, that even after the lights came on, we could not stand. My heart was still racing. My nerves were shot.

The last time I was this exhausted after a film was Titanic, and obviously for different reasons. Which leads me to think, you don't watch Paranormal Activity, you survive it.

Now why it was playing at this theater at midnight on this date...I have no clue. According to IMDB it was made and/or released in 2007. According to my manager at work, it has yet to be released in November '09. Either way, SEE THIS MOVIE. Normally I would post a trailer, but I don't want to give anything away. Just go in completely blind as I did, and prepare to be thrilled. It is sure to be one of the most talked about films this year, and possibly one of the biggest horror films ever. If it connects with a large enough audience, there will surely be plenty of knock-offs and parodies done. You might argue that Blair Witch was the first of its kind, but it doesn't hold a candle to Paranormal Activity.

*Bee tee dubbs:

WHAT'S THE SCARIEST MOVIE YOU'VE EVER SEEN?

And why did it scare you so much?

Leave a comment below and be sure to vote in the poll on the left hand side