Scariest. Movie. Ever?

Last night I stayed downtown with my girlfriend to go see a midnight showing of the new Michael Moore film, Capitalism: A Love Story. We got there about an hour early, thinking it might be busy. Not only was the theater completely empty, it was tiny and neglected, not even cleaned yet from whatever had been screened before it (well there ya go Michael, you're not the only one who doesn't like Capitalism). So we went to the lobby to discuss how much popcorn to get and we noticed not three, but four other movies playing this particular Friday morning: Whip It, Zombieland, and The Invention of Lying. Lines were wrapped around the theater, I thought for possibly Zombieland or Capitalism, but not at all. The fourth movie was playing in 3 screens, 2 of which were already sold out at 11pm. It was called Paranormal Activity. Ever heard of it? Neither had I. Just seeing the sheer volume of people who had come out in support of the film was all the convincing I needed to change my plans from over a month ago (sorry Mr. Moore) and swap the tickets.

We asked a couple in line what the film was about--what was all the hullabaloo?? "Its supposed to be the scariest movie in the last decade. Its about a couple who are haunted in a new house and set up a camera to capture the ghost." Awesome, I said, like a Blair Witch kind of thing? "Yeah, only way better."

Well, there's really no better way to describe this film. Its Poltergeist + The Ring - Hollywood + Blair Witch - shaky cameras. And what they do best in this movie is suck you in. Because it is shot like a home video, and you can even watch them play back the videos they recorded, you feel just like you are right there with them. I was skeptical at first about the location--a giant suburban San Diego home (probably foreclosed now)--but it couldn't have been better. By putting the film in an up to date setting (as opposed to the usual rickety old home, cavernous mansion or abandoned mental asylum) they completely invade your space. They know you're going to go home and sleep with the lights on. C'mon, how many folks would believe that their new home is haunted? I mean, how could it be, nothing's happened there yet. But that's the beauty of it: this movie puts a great twist on the haunting genre and pulls it off exceptionally. It was the most suspenseful, most terrifying experience I've ever had in theaters. In fact, the most terrifying film I have ever seen. Period.

People were still screaming during the credits, others sobbing, in pure shock, as if they had literally just seen a ghost. We were so shaken up, that even after the lights came on, we could not stand. My heart was still racing. My nerves were shot.

The last time I was this exhausted after a film was Titanic, and obviously for different reasons. Which leads me to think, you don't watch Paranormal Activity, you survive it.

Now why it was playing at this theater at midnight on this date...I have no clue. According to IMDB it was made and/or released in 2007. According to my manager at work, it has yet to be released in November '09. Either way, SEE THIS MOVIE. Normally I would post a trailer, but I don't want to give anything away. Just go in completely blind as I did, and prepare to be thrilled. It is sure to be one of the most talked about films this year, and possibly one of the biggest horror films ever. If it connects with a large enough audience, there will surely be plenty of knock-offs and parodies done. You might argue that Blair Witch was the first of its kind, but it doesn't hold a candle to Paranormal Activity.

*Bee tee dubbs:

WHAT'S THE SCARIEST MOVIE YOU'VE EVER SEEN?

And why did it scare you so much?

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